The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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