There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
