Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
