and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
