every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
