i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
