It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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