u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I woke up under a house in Key West
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize