she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
