I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
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I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
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Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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