ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
This baby is an asshole
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
