I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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