I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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