we have pet lesbian snakes
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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