but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
