When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
