Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
