dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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