A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
