I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
