I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
