My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
