whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
