I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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