They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
