I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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