if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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