Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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