He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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