just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
