Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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