I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
