either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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