when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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