the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
