Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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