We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Congratulations! We have a period
there is puke in my bra ... again
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
