yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
