I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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