I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I am in a vortex of obligation.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
