the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
