Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
