People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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