My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
