I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I cut my penus on the lid.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
