I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
True strength comes from lack of pants
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
