I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
