Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
