Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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