Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
