Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize