id be glad to
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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