Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
