doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
