would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
