the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
