Dual....:-)
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
