Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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