I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
we made out on top of his cat.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
