: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
