So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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