I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
